did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
two words: eviction party
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
