Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
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