oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
