I smell stomach acid.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
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