My brain says no but my pants say off.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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