Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
When did angry sex become our thing?
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
