Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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