See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
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