found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
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I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
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I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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