Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Randomize
