that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
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