the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
