I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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