her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
