just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
