I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
