The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
