margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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