Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
He better not be in your backpack
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
