you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Randomize
