the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I have feelings that need drinking.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
