1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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