Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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