wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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