If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
