Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
