I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
