she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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