just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
