Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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