That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
