there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
