I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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