ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
COCAINE IS GR8