my vag is so smooth its legendary
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go