my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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