I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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