A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
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