you guys were way drunker than both of me
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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