there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
