her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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