Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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