just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
