Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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