He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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