I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
The adults are the big ones right?
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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