I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
