My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
