In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Randomize
