if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
