He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Randomize
