She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Randomize
