fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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