You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Randomize
