Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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