We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
This house was built for laser tag.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
