i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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