My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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