I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize