South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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